Cupid’s demanding back its arrow -Lost Stars, Adam Levine
So… I have been in a relationship thrice in 8 years. First was 2 years, then 3 years, then 5 months with the same guy. Do you think that’s cool? Well… It has been really an amazing journey. If you are following my blog or you are my friend, then you knew.
Why am i blogging this? Because this is my outlet, this is my blog. I felt like this is where I can really be honest except when I am praying. Haters and judge-rs ARE NOT ALLOWED.
Only the two of us knew the truth about what really happened between us and I do not even want to talk about it. This is the only place I can.
I was hurt. No, I was devastated (more appropriate word to describe how I felt) when we decided to go separate ways for the 3rd time. I wanted us. I wanted him to be my happy ending. I gave literally my all. I fought all out for the last time, hoping that everything can be fixed. I had 7 days, 7 DAYS. Unfortunately, that was not enough to save the relationship or should I say, I was too late.
The week before the break up was the most painful and the craziest week I ever had. I learned and realized a lot.
- Lose your pride but never your self respect– Do not hesitate to show your appreciation and love, you’ll actually gain more when you do.
- Know the right time to talk. -Timing is everything, babe.
- Love yourself a little bit more. -Accept your weaknesses and improve on it.
- Forgive. -Yourself and your partner. It takes two to tango.
- Know when to REALLY let go. -This is the hardest.
- Understand. -No ifs, not buts. Not “I try to understand but I will and I should understand.”
- Love. -Love even when it is difficult, love even when you are angry, love even when you do not understand, love even when you are hurting.
I thank God for giving us the desire of our hearts to be together again. I thank Him for letting us experience these ups and downs. I thank the Lord for every happy and sad moments we had. I thank the Lord for the opportunity to love someone like him. I thank the Lord for our love story. It may not be the ending we are expecting but it was always worth a try.
My last prayer for us was “Lord, reveal your plan for us, for our relationship. Make it happen.”
I had no regrets. I lost a battle but it was a battle of losing my plan to win God’s plan.